New Boy in the office

So I transferred from the London office, with glowing references. It still took me like 10 interviews and at least 4 months of backwards and forwards before getting signed on. It seems they really weren't at all sure about taking me on. This said, they seemingly do that to everyone at the moment here.

I've only really ever worked for one employer - E&Y/CGE&Y/Capgemini. Coming away like this , where my credentials don't carry has given me the experience that comes with starting afresh. My reputation does not precede me. Expectations however do. So I have to prove myself all over again.

I remember this - my first few of years at work were a hard time, proving myself. At some point when I became 'trusted', I could worry less and be more confident of my abilities. I still have that confidence about myself. But I also need to gain the trust and respect of my new employer.

For most at work, this has gone down fine. There's one major doubter though, who's pushing me hard. She's pretty darn senior, and gives as good as she gets. It's good to be challenged, even knocked down. She doesn't beat about the bush, gives them hard straight and true.

She criticised me today for a couple of things. She expects more from me in terms of driving work through myself. She sees me as delegating and coordinating rather than owning or doing. She's worried that I'm flaky when it comes to delivering. It sounds ok in retrospect, but believe me it was pretty cutting. She clearly established that she expects a lot more from me.

It's a fair concern to have. I'm not too worried because I know I can and do deliver, and drive thing through. Also, I think I know the context of what she's criticizing me for. In my defence, I have enough things on my plate, there are others doing nothing in the office, and I see it as training/good experience for me to delegate work to them. It's plain sensible to me, and effective working. She has me on a couple of other points too, which I could plead defence against too, but there's an underlying truth there regardless, which is that I have yet to win her over.

She's a strong lady, hard working, takes on a lot. I realise now that I should have interpreted that. Most of the time I imagine effective delegation to be an important managerial skill. It is of course. But at the moment, to impress this boss, I need to show her not delegation, but some serious get-stuff-done skills. I could have been smarter about this, mapping out my stakeholders, seeking to understand their personalities and frames of reference, taking a stab at what they look for in staff, and then looking at what their information channels are so as to know when they might be 'watching'. Sure that seems pretty calculating, but hey, that would have been much smarter than waiting to get my ass kicked.

As she points it out, everything I do at work is an opportunity to impress and to prove myself. It's kinda pressuring, given I'm maxed out with MBA and Mandarin, both of which seriously detract from the time I have at work to get stuff done, or get it done well. It's hard to do everything well, especially without driving myself crazy by asking too much of myself.

I'll pay a bit more attention to it I think. But for now I'm accepting that there's only so much I can do. If it takes a while to prove myself, I think it'll just have to take a while. Hope lady luck will be on my side for a bit longer, and I'll be able to get through ok.