Understanding the words is one thing... but sentences?

Great chinese lesson this morning. 

 

We've been translating a McKinsey Quarterly article "Spurring performance in China's State Owned Enterprises".  (Thanks Eason!) The article is available in both English and Chinese, which certainly helps.  This particular document seems to have been authored in Chinese, and then rewritten in English.  This has two implications for me.  Because it's the author language, the Chinese is more 'authentic' in grammar and thinking - and consequently more of a learning challenge to read.  Also, because it has been re-written in English and not literally translated, there are some parts where the translation is simplified - the difficult parts!

 

Chinese: http://www.mckinseyquarterly.com.cn/eqtrly_detail.asp?articleID=288

English: http://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/article_page.aspx?ar=1492&L2=19&L3=69&srid=92&gp=1

 

Usually I can cover maybe 3 paragraphs in a 90 minute session.  I use DimSum software to give me pinyin for the words I don't recognise.  My teacher helps me understand the grammar and sentence structures when I get confused.  And then I'll read back the sentences and paragraphs a few times to improve my reading and reciting.  It's also difficult to get the 'sheng diao' sounds both correct and sounding natural.

 

Today I had major problems with a couple of sentences below (the ones that have translations).  I found the chinese sentences clumsy, and it was hard to understand which adverbs applied to which verbs.  Also, because words can have multiple meanings, it's often hard to guess which meaning is implied within in a sentence.

 

My lesson:

 

要想在这方面取得实质性的进展，管理人员就要将企业对客户及其他重要利益相关方（包括国内外少数股东）的服务质量作为企业业绩的考核标准。

 

高层管理人员必须设立相应的部门，在职工中间确立个人责任制，激励职工最大可能地发挥个人才能和工作经验。

 

Literal: Top managers must establish corresponding departments to institutionalise a system of individual responsibility, to encourage staff to as best as possible utilise their ability and experience.

 

Natural: Top executives must build organizations that instill individual accountability in workers and persuade them to make the most of their talent and experience.

 

Note: I found 最大可能 to be causing me all sorts of problems until I removed it altogether to simplify the sentence.

 

企业不能继续听命于政府规定，也不能再从维持社会稳定的角度承担效率低下导致的巨额成本。

 

Literal: Businesses cannot continue to follow government directions, nor can they again on the basis of preserving stable society undertake the huge costs brought about by low performance companies.

 

Natural: Enterprises can no longer wait for the government to issue orders or allow huge cost inefficiencies to persist in the name of social stability.

 

Note: It was easier once simplifying the sentence and recognising the split pairs here - 从维持的角度，承担成本，导致的成本

 

要切实落实业绩文化，职工就必须为自身的行为负责，知道如何为企业带来价值，而且一旦无法达到企业的业绩要求，职工要接受因此导致的一切后果。